I am concerned about the recent
news coverage o some PSLE top scorers and their stay-home mums. It is
problematic to postulate that the direct outcomes of mother who stays home to supervise her child
are the awards and distinctions the child gets.
This discredits mothers whose
children do not have any accolades to boast of, but who have helped their
children grow up to become well-adjusted individuals. On the other hand, it
justiies others who inhumanely stretch their children beyond their natural
abilities.
I left full-time work in 1997 and later gave
up well-paying flexible work to keep an eye on my three daughters as they
entered school. Their mental and emotional well-being was of primary
importance.
I coached them to think about
what they were studying and give personal meaning to what they learnt. Thought they
might not have been top students, I believe this has helped them to overcome
different challenges and achieve their personal best at critical junctures,
from the PSLE to the GCE O-level exams.
At the end of the day, whether a
mother chooses to stay home or work outside the home is not crucial. It is in a
nurturing and humane home environment that a child becomes a thinking
individual who is capable of contributing to society in meaningful ways.
I know of children whose
full-time stay-home mothers load them with assessment books as well as tuition
and enrichment classes in their quest of excellence for their younge ones.
Only time will tell if their
efforts have truly been in the best interests of their children.
Meantime, the rigorous study
regime that some mothers habitually put their children through each day is
troubling because of the level of stress that these children experience.
Sadly, current legal protection
for children under 14 years old from ill treatment under the Children and Young
Persons’ Act, and psychological abuse under the Women’s Charter has not yet
been extended to include such cases.
Therefore, for every well-rounded
student who has benefited from the involvement of a stay-home mother, we should
be mindful of many other children who live with the inhumane over-involvement
of parents with no recourse for help.