Let’s face it – most of us approach the prospect of leaving the workforce to be caregivers with ambiguous feelings. While the caregiving issues that had tugged at our hearts for the longest time are finally given due attention, there’s also the pestilent question ‘Will I ever be the same again?’
When I bid farewell to my last 9-to-5 at an MNC, I was expecting my third child and in my second trimester. I went into the job pregnant with my second child and left pregnant with my third! [Yes, I had to put in a lot more effort to show my boss and colleagues that I was in top form in spite of the pregnancies! I was even offered a promotion after the birth of my second child.] However, my calling to domestication became clearer as I grew uncomfortable with the prospect of leaving my helper [though very competent] to face the demands of caring for three under-six children alone. Even so, to leave what had been a large part of my life for over a decade was scary. To be totally honest, by the time I bid farewell to my colleagues, to my position and its vested power, and strode out of the corridors of corporate destiny into the heart call of no-position and no-pay, I had already conspired a Plan B. A trip had been planned for meetings with some people in London to explore a new business that served niche markets for medical devices. It would be a small home-based enterprise, a one-woman show.
Yes, Plan B was motivated by the fear that once home, I would decay in relevance, knowledge and importance to society. From being counted in the labour force, I would instead be saying ‘I’m not working’, of course. Much as it has turned out to be the most rewarding experience on a moment-to-moment level [am still enjoying it now], making the full transition was too scary for me. Hence, Plan B was contrived to help the transition.
In the first two years, I spent up to a few hours a day on expanding contacts, building brand recognition, and occasionally [remember it's niche marketing] pitching my products to doctors and clinicians. Gradually, as the business stabilized, I spent only a few hours each week to keep clients happy, and still remained on top of the game while it lasted. After all, I only had three small lines of product to sell.
[However, I would like to add for caution that there are no shortcuts to build a start-up from scratch. Prior knowledge and experience in developing a new business will ensure that you don’t move from one fulltime job to another – just home-based.]
Here are some other things I do to stay informed, interesting and involved in society from day one.
READING....the dailies
When you no longer have the luxury of company-paid dailies, not that you had time to read them every day anyway, the humble Straits Times will put you in good stead to stay informed on local and international news. On TV, there’s CNA, CNN and BBC online.
30 minutes a day is all you need!
RESPOND ...to do good
Being away from work and colleagues can make you passive and withdrawn. There are several ways to be involved in non time-consuming projects or causes for the greater good.
Thanks to vibrant online communities and news portals, you can now have a voice on important matters right in your own home! Post your thoughts on a topic or news item. However, the idea is to do your part to make the world a better place, so be wary of the temptation to join the swarms of flaming and injurious postings.
Offline, writing letters to the Forum of the Straits Times has moral boosting effect when what you have to say is deemed to be of interest to the general public and your letter gets published! Take time to craft your response to keep it on an even keel for effect and appeal.
Volunteerism is also a good way to step out of your world and into someone else's for a short time. Contrary to common protests, offering hands-on help does not necessarily mean long hours of volunteerism, or even being away from home. If you are a caregiver of an elderly, you could join or form a self-help group with other caregivers going through the same situation. If you are a parent, offer your skills to help out at your child’s school. In my first year at home, my oldest daughter was only at primary one. And though the school was far from where we lived then, I signed up for volunteer work that I could handle entirely from home. As a result, I was tasked to put out a monthly newsletter and to create the first website for the school's parent volunteer group. The involvement was only once a month, and I worked during my 'down time' late at night when the family was in bed. These late-night creative work became an important part of the ME-ONLY time that I so missed during the day.
Today more than before, there is a wide array of choices for those who want to give back to society through volunteer work. Some even provide specialized trainings [AWARE provides intensive training for their helpliners] that will equip you with a new skill set to boast of.
REDISCOVER PEOPLE...catch up with someone
I like hosting and especially for foot-weary and time-strapped mums, nothing’s more welcoming than an invite to lunch [along with kids in tow], be pampered with a meal they don’t need to whip up themselves, and have adult company and conversation. Over the years, I've enjoyed having the daytime company of different women friends - both single and married - at my home.
Start small. Invite one person you haven’t had time to catch up with before [or never knew existed till now] to your home for a simple breakfast or lunch. I don't know of any hands-on mums [not maid bolstered tais-tais] who will expect elaborate feasts and most will be only too happy to have a time-out from their own kitchens to notice your salt less soup, or overcooked chicken breasts. The company and chance to interact with another adult on a social level - with the kids happily fed too - will more than compensate for any shortfalls. The focus really is on people, not performance. What a relief, what a difference!
Welcome to life @ home!